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• (209): View more from California

  is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?

  (1-209): View more from California

  yes...dear jesus what did you do?

  (209): View more from California

  bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I think I can smell my own vagina right now

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should

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• (903): View more from Texas

  I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.

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• (714): View more from California

  Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life

  (714): View more from California

  It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me

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• (707): View more from California

  Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else

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• (315): View more from New York

  Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...

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