Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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