I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
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