If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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