Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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