I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
