we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I want a musical about memes.
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