I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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