If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
