i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
