i think my mom watched the whole time
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
