yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I looked at my own cervix.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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