Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
