You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
