you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
