I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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