Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
