Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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