My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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