Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
this just has baby written all over it
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
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