I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
