If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
im holly from the hills drunk
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
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