Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
