i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
it was like having sex with a tree stump
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I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
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His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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