I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
