he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
