I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
