I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
it hurts more in the daytime
this beer tastes like vomit already
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
