Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
