Plan B is the new Plan A
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Randomize
