Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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