And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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