I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
