Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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