Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
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I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
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Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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