11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
