So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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