Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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