just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
