She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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