You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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