I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
