Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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