Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
it was like eating out sand paper
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
