VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
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Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
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Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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