So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
