is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
