Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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