The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
