Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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