Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
