Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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