the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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