I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
