Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
