This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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