And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
