I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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