Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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