Are we in a gay sports bar?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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